What is a name?

That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet.

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

I always love paper return time in class the first few weeks. I wait to we get around to the right alaphabet letters wait for the pause and the "Rye-isk" possible add an E on there if we get lucky. Then I say "Risky" and wait for the "hahaha-thats a funny name looks." Then I think to myself, you don't even have a clue how to spell my first name.

I have learned how quickly I can spell my name, pronounce it correctly, or make a joke at it all great things to have under my belt. "Like Risky buisness but spelled different." or "Yeah- like Britian but with another t and a y at the end." Golden I know.

Throughout the years I have contemplated the reasonings behind my mother picking to spell my common name in such an uncommon way. I've blamed it on the drugs and claimed it was an accident but as I grow older and think about it fits me better than she cold have imagined.

Well of course I'm just a common young woman doing all the things common young women do, but in another sense I'm so different from what the world would think or want me to be.When you truly get to know me and how to spell my name you start to understand what makes that extra "i" in there so important. How I have a few qualities that make me special in all the right ways.

New Semester, New Me

I did a great job didn't I. I know, I impress myself.

Two weeks into the semester and going strong. I've regrouped back to my favorite spot in the library, headphones are on, pile of books to my right, cold drink to my left and I'm ready to rock.

Now if only I could get the 6 loud girls in the "quiet" room to hush my life would be complete. Do you ever people watch? I will admit it is one of my favorite past times. As much as I loved being in the action in high school I am now finding the art of watching euphoric. You've got half of the computer designated to academics creeping on facebook. Those that aren't on facebook pick up their phone continually to respond to their all important text messages. How you love young life.

I watch all these people and then my mind will wonder off to think about what it will be like in Provo, if I ever make it there. How will it be different. Obvisouly I will miss the great wardwobe choices of UA-Fort Smith students versus the strick honor coded BYU zoobies. Will I miss my family to much? Will I get lost in the crowd? Each time I start thinking about the negatives that COULD I think about the independence that I'm thirsting for and the Route 44 of life that is waiting for me somewhere else. What I've got to do and what I am going to do is keep focused on what I want and work my rear end off until I get it. Any sort of a whisper of hesitation is going to be put aside. Maybe BYU won't call my name but I can't think about that now. I'll face that problem when I get there.

That's what I figured out my problem was. I was so worried that if I tried I wouldn't be able to succeded somewhere I lost the "go get em killer" attitude that I had back in high school. I turned into this person who let the fear of failure keep her from even trying. What kind of attitude is that? Super negative I know.

I figure it's better that I get going and risk skidding on the ground than to stay in a rut and never progree.

Crash into me baby.